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Saturday, April 18, 2009

In a Fog


It's a beautiful day, sunny and warm, but I feel like I'm in a fog. Ever since my cardiologist increased my beta-blocker a few weeks ago to further reduce the irregular heart rhythms I had been experiencing (despite an increase in the same medication only a few months ago), I have been exhausted. And by exhausted, I don't mean very tired; I mean practically unable to function. I wake up tired and it takes me all day until I feel like myself.

The good news is that my doctor believes that I will adjust to the medication increase and be less tired. I know I adjusted the last time we increased it. And that would be a good thing, as I'm going to need all the energy I can muster over the next few months, while I complete my master's thesis and do some traveling, among other activities.

The bad news is, of course, that my heart may be getting weaker and you need a heart to, well, live! Inevitably, the heart will weaken when you have DMD. Whether that's what is happening now, even my doctor can't know for sure. Yeah, that's scary and unsettling, but I have no choice except to live to the best of my ability. After all, I could be around for a while and it would be a shame to waste even a second. To quote that noted philosopher, Ferris Bueller, "Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

1 comment:

Sue said...

Josh!
Take care of yourself! Keep breathing and keep that heart of yours beating strong. We need you around to remind us of stuff like that.