Just a Little Bit Further
After submitting the first draft of my master's thesis a little more than a week ago, I received feedback from my advisor that was positive, but nonetheless indicated that I had some work to do. With a week to make the necessary revisions, I thought it would be no big deal.
But as last week wore on, it began to sink in just how much things had changed for me since I began my master's program in urban studies back in September of 2000. Gone was the strength and energy that had once allowed me to push everything else aside and complete my work, no matter how long it took to get things just right. Now, I have to be more vigilant about my health, which takes away from the time that I have to work. Even when I have the time, my energy often betrays me, thanks to my weak DMD heart and the medications I take to sustain it. And after getting shocked 18 times by my internal defibrillator on one very scary night in July, I had to make sure that I did not allow myself to get too stressed out! So I tried to work at a slower pace, taking frequent breaks. It was highly frustrating, but I knew that (like Red in the clip above from my all-time favorite movie, "The Shawshank Redemption") if I had come this far, I could come just a little bit further.
By yesterday, with a deadline looming and on the verge of exhaustion, nothing was going to stop me. And, if only for a moment, I was able recapture some of my old magic, pushing myself every time I wanted to take a break. Just after midnight, I submitted my paper. We'll see what happens, but it sure was nice to visit with my old self and to know he is still within me and I can channel him from time to time!
UPDATE: My advisor was impressed...my paper now goes to the rest of my thesis committee for review...